I've returned to Belgium after spending three weeks in the Bay Area. I can't list everything that happened, though it was quite a busy, and sad, trip.
Eric's body was cremated last Saturday. I don't know if there are firm plans on what will happen to his ashes, but cremation was what he had told several people he wanted. (He appears to not have left a will, or if he did, we can't find it, which is leaving us all guessing on these things.)
We still don't know the cause of death. The full coroner's report will be finished in about 11 weeks from now. I have no idea why it's that long -- I guess cases where foul play isn't suspected get bumped to the bottom of the queue.
I met his brother Karl, a really sweet guy whom I wish I had met when Eric was alive. I'm hoping to stay in touch with him and get to know him better -- he's the kind of person I could see myself being good friends with, just based on the day we spent together at Eric's house trying to take stock of the situation.
Eric's orange trees are full of fruit. I held it together most of that day, until the late afternoon when I went out front for a break and stood under the trees and remembered all the times Eric and Meredith and I stood in that very spot, picking oranges and talking about whatever random topic was on our minds at the time.
The shock of it all has started to wear off, but the grief is still there. I'm breaking down crying every few days, rather than every few hours, which is good since as of today I'm back at work. Similarly, Meredith, who is hardly ever even sad, let alone depressed, has been hit really hard by this. I've been quite worried about her, though this last week she seemed to be coming back to life a bit. I had hoped that she'd join me on my return home to Leuven, but unfortunately she couldn't because of work. I'm amazed at how well Ruchira is holding together, and really grateful to her for arranging the cremation, and for everything else she's done, both for Eric, and for Meredith.
The memorial service is not planned or scheduled yet. I'm actually pretty upset about this -- I'm not sure why it is taking the people who were ostensibly going to plan it so long to do so. Given that there was no funeral, and the cremation was a separate event, I'd think this would be simpler than normal funerals with receptions, but... well. It's not my intention to criticize anyone. This is all really hard for all of us. I guess I'm just sad that I won't be able to attend (unless, of course, it takes another month or so to actually plan it...), and I'm a bit ashamed that Eric's been dead almost six weeks and there's not been a service. But the argument can be made that the people planning this should take their time and do it right, I suppose -- it's just hard on a lot of us who want to have this time to bring closure to our grief and celebrate his life. Easy to be impatient, I guess.
So, no, I'm not trying to be critical -- the actual point of this post is to let those of you watching this blog for info on the memorial service know that you haven't missed it -- I just don't know what to tell you. When I do, I'll let you know.
In the mean time, I'm thinking it would be nice to set up an online memorial page where people can leave their memories of Eric. Anyone interested in hosting such a thing?
